5 Hot tips for the newbie in Thailand

Not all girls are girls, Thailand can chew you up and spit you out, yes its fucking hot and some things can never be unseen.

When you come to Thailand, you’re going to have your senses hit in a million different ways. Whether you’re squandering your coin in the gogo bars, or enjoy an ethical friendly eco tour with elephants, there’s things that you will see and have happen that will be so unique to Thailand.

Communication – If you haven’t bothered to try learning even a simple greeting before coming to Thailand, you’re going to get extremely frustrated very quickly. The amount of Thais that actually speak fluent English is a lot less than you would expect. In tourist areas you will have a bit more luck, but venture out into the smaller provinces and see how quickly you will want to loose your temper.

Drinking – So you’re going to get smashed on cheap beer, good for you. Remember that even at night, Thailand’s temperatures can be in the mid 30’s  and with the humidity, you’re going to sweat your arse off, so keep the H2O fluids up.

Pissing out your arse – Eating food in Thailand will have an effect on you, it’s just a matter of what you ate that did it. Even someone with the toughest of iron guts will fall foul of the squirts in Thailand. Hot tip, even in the major tourist centres, don’t drink the water either, do you see Thais drinking the water? No they drink from bottles that are so cheap at a 7-Eleven they’re almost free.

Losing Face – Accept it, you’re going to piss someone off, and especially if its a Thai national. Backing down, smiling and offering a simple “sorry” or even walking away can be the best in so many situations in Thailand. Yes you probably think you’re right, but arguing over 20THB (AUD 80c) isn’t worth it especially when you look at the shit you can end up in.

I remember a night minding my own business in Walking Street Pattaya, it gets pretty busy with bodies everywhere making it hard to get about. One of my pet hates is the selfie stick, and after getting clocked in the side of the head by one an Indian tourist was flinging around, grabbing him quickly by the throat while his comrades were running in saying how sorry they were was not conducive to letting things go.

Needless to say I released my grip on his breathing tool and walked away, but who knows, things could have got worse for me.

Over-spending – While you come to Thailand with all the best tools, great intentions and ideas on how you can save a few bucks, there will be times when money will just disappear through your fingers if you’re not careful.

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Those lady drinks, tee-shirts at the markets, or that taxi ride that seems to be going around in circles. Accept that it will happen, at the end of the day, if you are only here for a holiday, what’s it matter?